Puzzles of Love and Sorrow
by RedSnowfall
Summary: Human/SadStuck. Karkat gets diagnosed with Cancer.His Brother and Dad panic in fear but Karkat is perfectly at peace, believing it don't matter as he has no reason to live. He didn't tell anyone.But when Sollux finds Kar's medication and confronts him about his cancer their friendship turns into beautiful love. Sollux shows him he has things to live for.But will Karkat fight?
1. Beginning of the end

**Authors note: Ok so, this is my first fanfic that is written for my friend that has inspired me to do it with the our SolKar RPs. I would Like to thank Lauren for that. Well I am planning to have some Lemon's in the much later chapters, though I will be sure to give a beforehand warning to those who do not want to read that. Excuse me for any spelling mistakes but I am going to try my best at that. The Story will be from Karkat's point of view just to clarify that. **

_No Homestuck or the characters don't belong to me, if they did it would end up a Yaoi / Yuri story . Or some kind of smut hehehe._

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><p>Darkness, silence and peace. Good, that's exactly what I needed after such a long and tiring day. I lay on my bed in the middle of the night as usual unable to sleep, I can't remember the last time I slept a full eight hours or anything near that. Not only my mental state was now showing the tiredness but over the dreamless years and dull nights filled with nothing other than negative thoughts, my body showed it too. No one asked about the dark shadows under my eyes anymore, everyone assumed it was just how I was. My paleness was nothing out of the normal either. Finally those fuck asses left me and my life alone.<p>

I sighed heavily and sat up letting the gray bed sheets slide down my body and rest in my lap, my eyes that were a matching color looked towards the window without expression, I found that funny , my eyes were gray and my favorite color was gray...now...my world was gray too...without a future. They stayed there for awhile looking at the clouded night sky before they picked a new place to lay their gaze upon. The white envelope that had a piece of paper sticking out of it. I felt like the cursed paper was calling me, forcing me to come and look at it once more, glaring at me with its contents as it laughed at my life. I got up, my bare feet hitting the wooden floor letting the chill of the night brush over my near bare skin, I was wearing nothing more than a pair of black boxers. My feet made soft tapping sounds on the floor boards as I walked towards the only thing that I could see at the moment, the envelope that contained my sadly ending fate. My hand gripped the edge of the envelope and I turned around turning on the night light on the bed side table, sitting down on the soft mattress that seemed to try and comfort me though right now I didn't see the point. It's efforts were wasted.I brushed over the envelope with my finger tips my eyes looking at it still dull and expressionless as if the contents of this envelope had no meaning. But it was quiet the opposite in fact, I pulled out the paper and looked at the contents.

**Karkat Vantas**

24/8/13

**Mr Vantas we are writing this letter to inform you that your general blood tests have been done and results are ready but have also showed up with a few major concerns. Please contact the hospital or your doctor as soon as possible to get more information as it crucial you and your parent/carer speak to your doctor and about these results. **

That was the start of all this suffering of mine but that letter I received in the mail last week, Signless or dad... after life and the life of the rest of my family.I smiled at this letter that I thought back then was over them over exaggerating I threw the letter from last week onto the floor and let it float in the air for a moment before it his the next letter was the one that runined my hopes for any future, I touched it scanning over it till my eyes stopped on the one sentence that marked my fate

**We are sorry to inform you that your cancer results have been positive diagnosing you with Acute Lymaphoblastic Leukemia.**

My fingers went back and forth over the sentence, this letter arrived in the post last night and today I had talked to my doctor today after he had calmed down the panicked nurse who was pitying me way too much because of my young age, yeah I was 15 nearly 16 so she kept on telling me how sorry she was such a young person would have to be put through this. The best reaction though belonged to my Older brother though Kankri, when he saw the letter he just stared at me in disbelieve his mouth hanging open while he shook his head slowly hos eyes filled with tears. He got so emotional already sealing my fate of death. Dad...dad didn't know what to say, he left right after reading the letter saying he had to go for a walk. I found it amusing though, I was the only calm one just shrugging with a sigh when I read this. I guess I never valued my own life much. Though my calmness bothered even me, I almost felt happy...Happy to know my life was meaningless. I had always thought that, saw myself as nothing more than scum to this planet. But to be almost relieved about this? Kankri asked me why I was smiling at the time. I didn't know ...

I grip the edge of the paper tight, causing it to bend and make valleys I did it again before I just scrunched it up and threw the whole envelope in the bin. The leaflets on how to deal with Cancer fell out of it and ended up in the bin separately. I was still dulled, numb, unsure why and it bothered me. Shouldn't I be panicked? Crying? Screaming and begging for a cure? I should, but I was perfectly calm and numb about all this, I could easily sit down and talk about my cancer as if I didn't have it. But I did ask my family for one thing, my health, my cancer is to stay among us. I don't want anyone to know, I wouldn't want people to be nice or fake to me just because of pity or something. I much prefered If nothing changed for as long as possible though eventually people would notice I vanish often and I get worse , still I was planning to keep this silence till I had to spill it or it spilled it's self.

I sighed again and got up from the bed, leaving my room without a care in the world. My doctor told me that I had 50/50 chances of surviving, they would have been better chances if my cancer was in the earlier stage but I expected this with my shitty luck. I already knew my life would be over before my next summer holidays Acute Lymaphoblastic Leukemia or ALL Leukemia spread fast without treat mean a person lived a few months at best. I wasn't the lucky type so I already guessed it would be all over within a year. I strode to the kitchen and opened the fridge , taking the cold remains of Pizza from the fridge and nibbling on the slice , Might as well enjoy the short life I would have right? I thought before grabbing a glass of cold Cola on the way back to my room. I ate the slice before I even reached the door which left me with just the Cola. I sipped on it while getting into my room, I never turned on the lights in any places at night, I enjoyed the dark I got this peaceful feeling when all the lights were gone. Climbing back into my bed I sat down and finished the glass of the cool liquid before putting it on the bed side table. I lay back down to my original pose looking at the ceiling before my eyes out of interest turned towards the clock that glowed in red marking the time as 4:30 am. I shook my head knowing I would have to get up for school in a few hours, I rolled onto my side facing away from the wall as my eyes shut, my body curling up into a tight ball under the warmth of the blankets and comfort of the dark letting me at last get some rest. I fell into deep and dreamless sleep that as always didn't last long.

_I can see the **flickers**_

_**Over me** the lanterns raised_

_Lift me up, Lift me over it_

_Show me what you're **Hidding**_

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><p><strong>That is the first chapter, I know it's only a little happening here but it's the intro those are usually sucky, but I hope people will still read this and give me reviews. They will be appreciated 3 I will update as soon as I can . C:B<strong>


	2. LATE!

**Authors note:** _The first few chapters I guess wont have much going on. Most will be on Karkat trying to act normal and ignoring the cancer. But I will eventually build it upto the promised SolKar. I am estimating this Fanfic to be about 10 Chapters or so. Well I guess I should stop this shit because no one even reads it heh. Ok so enjoy C:B_

Homestuck Is Not Mine, I wish I Was Loved And Worshiped By People Like Hussie xD Life Would Be Great.

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><p>I don't like walking around this o l d<p>

and **empty** house

_so hold my hand I'll walk with you my dear_

the stairs creek as I _sleep_ it's keeping me **awake**

It's the house telling you to close your eyes

After what seemed like seconds my eyes fluttered open to the white light that was filling my room. Strange usually it wasn't this light at 7 AM when I wake up, especially since it was October... With a groan my arms raised themselves over my head and streached the muscules that had been still, resting for what I thought had been a few short hours. I felt rested...something really strange for me to feel since I never got much sleep. I sat up and looked around the room before I relised something, the usual beeping of my alarm clock that always managed to drive me nuts wasn't there...The moment I came to know hat my eyes shot wide open and snapped to the box that had the time written in red square like numbers on it that were currently flashing meaning I over slept. I should be in school by 8 : 30 but it was 9:00 right now...shit! I was late by half an hour, my teacher would kill me! I dashed out the bed grabbing my towel. I slammed the bathroom door in a rush, the shower took me 15 minutes so I decided I would skip breakfast after all since I was already so late.

To be honest I was 100% sure dad would be pissed beyond belief when he saw me at home at this time. But when I bumped into him while getting out the bathroom wrapped into only my towel he looked at me and just shook his head. I blinked and looked back at him before he reached out and messed up my wet hair with a saddened smile "You don't have to go to school if you don't feel like it...I will-" I cut him off at the point, this was exacly why I didn't want for anyone else to find out about the Cancer. They would treat me differently, I would recive special treat meant and I didn't want that, I wanted for everything to stay as if nothing had every happened. I wanted to live on like I have before we all found out, though it wasn't entirely possible since I would need to spend my time in the hospital alot from now on, constant check ups, treatments, tests, and so on. Never the less I wanted the rest of my life (which I guess won't be too long) to be normal or as normal as it can be at least. "No...Dad...I want to go" I said wanting him to stop before lowering my voice a little and looking down not wanting to hurt him, I knew he was already suffering alot "I mean, I want to try and live on...I don't want things to change because of what happened. Please" I explained frowning before looking back at the man who looked 20 years older than he did a week ago before this all started. Signless gave me a nod and smile before gesturing towards the kitchen "Eat breakfast before you leave" I smiled a little breathing a short chuckle at his demand before nodding "alright dad...I will" I slipped past him towards my room as he watched me.

I didn't pay much attention to what I wore Because I was still in a rush though I was delayed by and hour now, how fucking fuck...ugh. I ended up in a black pair of ripped style jeans, a loose in about a size gray T-shirt and a red/ black checkered hoodie on top. I found my bag under the bed, shoving the books for today in it before getting my stuff; phone which was fully charged lucky, bus pass that i had a tendancy to loose as well as my house keys. Shoving the items in my pockets without much care I headed to the kitchen in order to quickly snack on the breakfast that I had told my father I would eat.

Finally after breakfast I got out the house, the time was 9:20.

Much didn't happen after that, I just got into my usual bus and traveled to school while listening to some music, I made sure it wasn't in anyway depressing. All I would need now onto of all this I getting damn depressed. So happy music all the way to school it was.

Since most schools started their day long ago there wasn't much traffic which for my good meant I didn't stay in the people filled bus. I got out and jogged top the school building that was very close to the bus stop, I was late before a few times in fact but never was I 1 hour and 45 minutes late. God my teacher will be furious when she finds out. So I put my phone on silent and put on my best face walking into the building, I signed into the late book quietly before I got to my lesson disturbing the lesson as I knocked on the door gaining everyone's attention. Of corse I apologized though still got scowled at though I quietly took it so I could be sent to my seat and start the School day which I hope wouldn't be as crappy as my morning.

**Don't listen to a word I say**

_Screams_ all sound the _same_

though the truth my vary this 

ship will carry our safe to shore

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><p><strong>Yes so that was chapter 2 I hope I didn't kill you with how boring it is, but if I did you get a cookie (v-v)/0 Chapter 3 will still be in school but I guess it should be more interesting as I am going to shove more people in it. Next Update soon! I hope some people will actually read this! 3 lots of love**


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